


Waterproof

by Paraprosdokia (ChangeableConsistency)



Series: Whether You Fall [2]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Phil Coulson, Feelings, Gen, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23917216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangeableConsistency/pseuds/Paraprosdokia
Summary: Part of him is glad that they don’t talk about this. The less they talk about it the less likely Clint is to ruin what they have.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Phil Coulson
Series: Whether You Fall [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723993
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	Waterproof

**Author's Note:**

> Whether it's the water  
> Coming in from the roof  
> Does it piss you off  
> That you're not waterpro
> 
> Whether you fall  
> Means nothing at all  
> It's whether you get up  
> It's whether you get up
> 
> —Tracy Bonham, Whether You Fall

“I know I don’t have to tell you—”

“And yet,” Clint says, dropping out of the vent to land lightly on Phil’s desk. He takes a moment to screw the cover back in place.

“And yet, something makes me think I should: Don’t sleep with her.”

“What makes you think she wants to sleep with me?” Clint says, stepping down and leaning his hip against Phil’s desk, close enough that the barest edge of Phil’s rolled up shirt sleeve, and Phil has no business making that look as good as he does, catches at Clint’s tac vest.

“She might try to use you to escape,” Phil says, counting off on his fingers without even glancing up from the After Action reports he’s reviewing, “Or use you against me—“ he smiles at Clint’s snerk of amusement; well not smiles, but Clint can tell he’s equally amused at the thought of anyone turning Clint against him, and holds up a third finger, “Everyone wants to sleep with you.”

“If everyone wanted to sleep with me I would have been in your bed years ago. I seem to remember literally throwing myself at you.”

“After you shot me. Yes, I recall.”

“To be fair, you shot me first. I thought you were flirting.”

“I don’t flirt.”

“I don’t know why not. I bet you’d be amazing at it.”

“Flirt with Romanov. Let me know how she reacts.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to sleep with her.”

“I trust your self control.”

“Well, that would be a first.”

It’s been a minute since Phil has given Clint his full undivided attention. 

It’s heady stuff.

“I trust you completely, Barton.” And, God, no; not that look, Clint can’t take Phil’s sincere, ‘It’s going to be okay’ face, “I apologize; I must not be doing a good enough job of showing it. I’ll rectify that going forward.”

Clint rubs the back of his neck, “You don’t have to do nothing different. You give me everything I need.”

“Not everything.”

Clint’s startled at the regret in Phil’s voice. 

They don’t talk about this. 

They never talk about this. 

Or not _like_ this.

Not with Clint getting a glimpse of the man behind the shield. 

She must have really gotten inside his head.

He wants to push; God, he wants to push but he doesn’t. He takes a step back instead of a step forward, knowing that pushing will only get his heart broken again. 

Sometimes he wishes Phil would just tell him to fuck off— Oh, Phil would never use those exact words, but he knows how to say it a dozen different ways in a dozen different languages. 

Clint would actually be delighted to hear Phil literally say ‘fuck off’ to anyone.

It’s item number three on his bucket list. 

Item number two is finally putting Duquesne down like the filthy animal he is. 

Number one is getting Phil to kiss him. 

The wording there is important. It had originally been to kiss Phil, but he’s had his shot at that, multiple shots, and Phil has alway puts him down gentle. 

Part of him is glad that they don’t talk about this. The less they talk about it the less likely Clint is to ruin what they have. 

No. No, that’s not fair. 

Phil won’t let Clint ruin what they have.

Which circles around to the whole regret thing. 

The bullet scar on his thigh aches but he refuses to rub it and he refuses to let his pain show; the same sort of pain he felt the one time he had forced the issue and Phil had told him, in that calm disinterested tone that’s his hallmark, “I already have the best of you.”

Clint knows Phil sees the pain all the same, but Phil appreciates it when Clint makes an effort to not be obvious about it, and so Clint does. 

“It’s enough. It’s more than enough.”

Just like that the moments gone, Phil accepting the polite fiction and returning to his reports.

Clint kind of wants to push the monitor off Phil’s desk.

But that would be petty, and these days he tries to save his petty for more constructive, or maybe that should be destructive, endeavors. 

“Out. You’re distracting me.”

Clint laughs; Phil doesn’t get distracted. Clint knows. He’s tried, “But I like distracting you.”

“Go find someone to spar with. Or flirt with Romanov.”

“You were serious about that? Wait, what am I saying, of course you were.”

“Only if you want to. Though,” Phil muses, “She might like the opportunity for both.”

“I don’t think they’re going to let her out of lock down any sooner than they’re going to sign me out.”

“I thought you had Dr. Samson wrapped around your little finger?”

“That maaaaay have been a _slight_ exaggeration. _”_

“That’s funny, I've never known you to exaggerate.”

Clint feels the tightness in his chest as Phil teases him, “Fine. I’ll spar with her. But you can’t get mad if she kills me.”

“On the contrary, I will be incredibly put out if you let her. I’ll have some space set aside, as long as you promise to follow the rule.”

Phil only has the one; Clint says, “Don’t die.”

Phil thinks he can manage anything else, but even he can’t raise the dead. 

At least not so’s he’s told Clint.

Who knows. Clint wouldn’t put anything past him. 

Not even resurrection. 

**Author's Note:**

> In this ‘verse Phil enjoys sex but does not feel romantic love and he thinks it will hurt Clint more if Phil sleeps with him when he can’t love him, not the way Clint deserves to be loved.
> 
> He was intentionally cruel to Clint as an object lesson, an effort to spare him a deeper hurt later.


End file.
